Eyre. As in Jane.

I blame Facebook

2011-10-20T19:39:00.000-07:00

It's been over a year since I have written anything here.

I blame Facebook.

Every quip or funny story I have to offer ends up in a quick status update on my Facebook profile. I wonder if these women who keep a blog also have a presence on Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest and all the other avenues of communication we have available to us?

At any rate, since my last posting, Grace we added Lucy Doris to the family on June 6, 2011, Caleb started wearing underpants (his term, not mine) and Grace entered kindergarten.

I'm ashamed. While my life is well-documented on the social network, I plan on treating this space better. It needs some attention, and the writer in me needs an outlet.

The hope is there

2010-06-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

Grace has a love-hate relationship with food. She likes the idea of a lot of things: beans, avocados, broccoli, etc. She wants to try them, and then when it comes right down to actually taking a bite, she backs out.

One of those items is tacos. I know it sounds lame, but Jon and I really miss tacos. We used to eat them all the time. But since Grace came along, and she didn't like them, it seemed like such a hassle to create two meals, so we just kind of gave up on making them.

We finally got her to try a quesadilla — I think it was the name that put her off of them, because what's not to like? It's essentially just cheese — so tacos are back in the rotation.

Today, I asked Grace what she wanted for dinner.

Me: Grace, what should we fix for dinner?
Grace: Tacos! Tacos! Tacos! I hope I try one.

Me, too... me, too.

Does advertising work?

2010-04-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

Every year in March we do Best of Utah County awards - best Mexican restaurant, best electrician, etc. With a few holes to fill, we decided to put a house ad announcing a special section coming out in April called Backyard & Blooms. This is the logo designed by the marketing graphic artist, Tiff. In the ad was just the logo, with a coming in April in the Daily Herald. Simple, right?

It appeared a couple of times in the 14-page ballot. But apparently, readers thought it was an actual business. Backyard & Blooms got voted the best landscaper and best lawn care service multiple times - at current count, it's in the double digits.

To me, it means a few things. People are looking at the ads. Pay attention, advertisers. The pretty ads stand out. Your ad will get looked at, especially if it's nice to look at.

Second, people are willing to vote for a company they've never heard of, and people don't read the entire ad. Just the big, pretty parts.

It could also say something else about the readers, but it's not really something I can post on my "family-friendly" blog.

One more thing to take from this: Someone should start a landscaping business called Backyard & Blooms immediately.

Shoe shopping

2010-03-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

While killing time the other day, Grace and Caleb and I went into Nordstrom Rack. Grace wanted to look at shoes (she's been under the delusion that she needs a new pair for a while now) so we went to look.

Both kids shed their shoes and began trying on different pairs. All the shoes were fastened together with one of those bulky magnetic mechanisms so once the shoes were on feet, it was hard for them to stand up and couldn't walk. Good, I suppose for keeping kids from taking off in shoes; bad for parents who want to see if the shoes actually stay on when kids walk in them. But that's not the point of my story.

Grace found a pair of Merrell sandals in blue. She kept going back to those between the pink-sequined tenneys, the white dress shoes and the black flats.

Caleb was in heaven trying on shoe after shoe, and showing off his feet. While he liked the pink crocs with the lambs wool lining and others more suited for Grace, he did manage to mix in a few boy styles, like these really cute blue converse all-stars. If he had his way, he would have left with camo-colored crocs with the lambs wool lining. Poor guy doesn't know my severe hatred for crocs. They will never be allowed. Never. At least in my presence.

This went on calmly for a goodo half-hour or 45 minutes. Grace's prized sandals only ended up being $11; there were no shoes for Caleb though; the cool black/yellow Nikes weren't on sale, just the white with an ugly purple swoosh.

We left without incident, even making it through the jewelry department in a fairly decent amount of time (Grace could spend hours looking at racks of necklaces, bracelets, rings and hair accessories. I'm not exaggerating.)

Not sure where she gets that from. Not from me.

Tribute to Joyce Clark

2010-03-04T18:48:00.001-08:00

My grandma passed away on Jan. 11. It's been nearly a month and I feel like it's just starting to take hold in me. I'm surprised at how often I think of her — things she would like, things that remind me of her, questions I want to ask about cooking or sewing or cleaning. I ripped the seam that held the zipper onto my jacket the other day. I happened to be going to visit Grandpa the next day, and found myself wishing she could sew my zipper back on. I wanted to ask her how far back the family's peonies date too. I think they came from my great-great-Grandma Hunter, or maybe Smoot, I don't know. She could tell me for sure.

I spent a great day on Antelope Island with Grandpa this week. He told me lots of stories about the buffalo roundups — the family favorite is when Image bucked him off and he got a black eye after a baby buffalo butted Image in the chest. We saw where they camped, kept the horses and stopped at a memorial for some soldiers killed in a helicopter crash in 1992. He remembered being stuck on the causeway for a few hours while emergency crews were on the scene. It killed 12 men.

I know we both had a good time and enjoyed each other's company, but I can tell he's sad, understandably, and misses his wife and friend.

Here is the tribute I wrote and read at her funeral, Jan. 14, 2010.

Weekends at Grandma and Grandpa’s house began with shredded wheat or granola, feeding the horses in too-big black galoshes with Grandpa, and almost always included a trip to Layton Hills Mall with Grandma. She usually bumped into a few people she knew.

At home, she always knew exactly where everything was. She once sent me down to the basement for something — I don’t remember what it was — and she not only told me where to find it, but described everything else on the shelves around it. I remember finding that quite remarkable once I got down to the shelves and everything was exactly as she had described.

Grandma always came prepared. One year at our yearly vacation to Deer Springs Ranch, we ended up on a sandy road after exploring some caves; we were hot, tired and hungry. A family of California tourists also were hot and tired, without water or a long walk back to their car. We all piled in the back of Grandpa’s truck for the ride back, and Grandma pulled out a cube of sharp cheddar cheese and a pocket knife, and started slicing. Cheese never tasted so good.

Grandma loved BYU football. When we were young, they had four season tickets, and they would take different people with them each week. Grandma always wore Cougar blue, complete with matching earrings. She was friendly with a lot of the people who sat nearby. We’d pass the binoculars back and forth, and she would shout things down to the field just as much as anybody else. Halftime meant a polish dog and a Sprite, and the long car ride home to Kaysville was made even longer by the post-game show on KSL (for me anyway).

Grandma loved holidays. She always dressed accordingly, with festive earrings and cute T-shirts. I don’t, however, ever remember her wearing a tacky Christmas sweater. She was much too fashionable for that. When I got older, I often found myself complimenting her shoes, or her jacket, and even wishing we were the same size. Now who ever envies their grandmother’s clothes? She had a great sense of style and always looked her best. But she was a bargain shopper — with all those trips to ZCMI, she did a lot of hunting on sales racks. My cousin Melissa and I often got to pick items out of the Clinique free gift. In fact, I never bought make-up in junior high school because I always had a steady supply of eye shadow, blush and mascara from her.

Anyone who knew Grandma, knew she loved to shop. Except for all her good friends, I think that is what she loved most about Brazil. I remember her dividing up this four huge collections of dishes — one for her and each of her daughters. Grandpa made a comment about using these dishes, and she looked at him and said “Oh, you can’t eat off these plates, there’s lead in the glaze.” I’ve never seen someone look so bewildered. But these dishes were pretty, and she had to ship them home to her girls.

She always gave thoughtful Christmas presents, the most memorable for me being a quilt. She made all the grandkids a quilt for Christmas, and when we all opened them, we all talked about when we remember our quilt being up on the frames to be tied, months before, not knowing it was meant to be ours. I think she enjoyed our reactions.

As it said in her obituary, Grandma was our fan club. She always attended even the most simple of programs as we grew up. Melissa and I graduated from high school on the same day, and Grandma went to Melissa’s and Grandpa went to mine. And I know they were both sad they couldn’t both be to both ceremonies.

I lived in Kaysville from kindergarten through 9th grade. I have spent sick days on her couch, eating her delicious buttery toast. On the last day of ninth grade, a big group of us walked from the junior high to Tasty’s. I, of course, sat in gum, which wouldn’t come out of my tan shorts. But I called Grandma, and she came and picked me up so I could change, and she took care of getting the gum out of my shorts. Then she drove me back to meet up with my friends on Main Street. For the last half of 9th grade, we lived in their basement. I saw how Grandma and Grandpa were with each other when they thought no one was around. They were kind and gentle with each other; they were affectionate and loving. They laughed together, and talked.

While they were on their mission in West Africa, Grandma and I wrote back and forth periodically. As a freshman at Utah State, it was always fun to get mail, but I really loved getting a card from her in her perfect cursive penmanship.

Over the last few months, I liked to call on my way home from work, just to talk about how things were going, tell them about my kids and work and home. And she was always interested. And she was always nervous about me talking on my cell phone while I was driving.

I will miss my grandma terribly; I will miss her passion for history and maps. I’ll miss chuckling to myself as I watched her mow the lawn on the riding lawn mower. I’ll miss her pulling weeds in her flower garden. I’ll miss her falling asleep in the chair while watching TV, her head bobbing up and down. But I know I won’t miss her love for me, because I will carry that with me until we are reunited in the next life.

Grace's "hair" brained ideas.

2009-10-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Grace has developed some sort of complex about her hair lately.

A few weeks ago, I asked her to go into the bathroom and comb her hair before we left for the day, and a minute later she is sobbing in front of the mirror about how she doesn't want "crazy hair." And it wasn't frustrated crying, it was despair and desperation.

A couple days after that, her hair was in a pony tail, and a little piece from the front had pulled out, and she caught sight of it in a mirror in the garage. Panicked, she ran over to me demanding that it be fixed immediately.

So lately, her whispy toddler hair is finally starting to fill in and grow a bit, so it's been easier and faster to get it fixed in the morning.

On Wednesday morning, however, she was insistent that she did not want her hair fixed, despite the fact that it had been in three different elastics the day before, and overnight had turned into this wild, poofy mop of dirty blond feathers.

When I picked her up at Bonnie's house (her baby sitter), Bonnie said she had a little tantrum about her hair because it kept getting in her face. Later that night, I asked her about it.

Me: "Grace, was your hair bugging you today?"

Grace: "Ya, it was crazy. I looked like Twist."

Me: "Who's Twist?"

Grace: "From the Fresh Beat Band."

Note: She has only watched that show on Nickelodeon a couple of times at our house, so maybe she watches it with Keshley or at Bonnie's, or maybe she just has — as I suspect she does — a freaky photographic memory. Twist is the white guy in the back. I don't know why she thought her hair looked like that. Maybe it's more "disheveled" in the actual show. Who knows.

I thought I would post a picture of the Fresh Beat Band. Just before making this post, a commercial for Fresh Beat Band came on the TV. Grace said she likes Shout the best.

"Which one is Shout?" I asked.

"The one in the red shirt."

Grace versus Dinner

2009-08-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

Grace took a really late nap. Usually I try and just forge through the evening and hope for an early bedtime, but it was clear that she had reached her breaking point. Sometimes she is so much like me it's frightening. She was just crying and she admitted that she didn't know why.

So I made her lay down, and I put on the TV. The last few minutes of "Curious George" were on, and then the kid shows were over, and an episode of the "Brady Bunch" came on. Peter had a crush on Jan's new classmate, but he kept making a fool of himself in front of her. So he came up with a scheme to have womanizing Greg hide in the bushes and tell him what to say, a la "Cyrano de Bergerac." No really. But then the new girl catches them and falls for Greg, so in order the get her to break up with him, he has to act like a "total rat."

Grace, of course, went right to sleep.
And slept through dinner.

We had previously invited Joe and Emilee over for ice cream sundaes, but Grace only ate a handful of M&Ms, so at 9:30, I'm trying to get her to eat something.

She said she'd eat a cheese stick -- so I got it for her and turned on "Max & Ruby" her favorite show, and my least favorite. Seriously, I'd rather watch "Barney" or a remedial math class on Channel 9.

She got as far as touching the end to her lips before she said:

"Mom, this cheese is too wiggly."

What that means, I have no idea. So I told her to think about what she would like to eat — cereal, peanut butter sandwich, yogurt — with a warning that if she didn't eat now, she couldn't eat until breakfast.

I'm in checking my email when I hear this from the family room: "Mom, I can't think."

Then she wandered in the office and said: "I can't think for breakfast."

She ate half a piece of toast, then we read books in her room until I fell asleep. Apparently she went downstairs with Jon and watched some show on the Beatles until about 11 p.m.

2009-08-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

The latest routine finds Grace and I in her bed reading books before she goes to sleep. I'm not sure why it's taken me this long to establish this pattern, but here we are, so I'm not going to worry about it. She is now -- mostly -- sleeping in her own bed for the entire night.

I have now noticed that most of her books are too young for her. We only have a handful of books with actual stories that don't involve encouragement to dance wiggle or sing. A trip to the bookstore or Amazon is in my near future.

During this half-hour to 45 minutes, Grace has created her own habit; one that I just love.

She likes to smell the books. She says she likes the smell of paper. The ones with new glossy pages are her favorite.

A girl after my own heart. I only wish I could impart the smell of a good book into this post.

The best/worst movie

2009-07-09T21:59:00.001-07:00

I have put a personal ban on ever watching "Steel Magnolias" ever again.

No, seriously. It makes me act like a ridiculous person.

A few months ago, I was watching it on T.V., a regular on cable, and it wasn't even a sad part. It was the scene where Julia Roberts cuts her hair really short just before getting a kidney transplant. She takes one look at it and is shocked. She doesn't know if she likes it or not.

Now, you have to remember that just before this part was the Christmas scene where Julia Roberts announces that she is pregnant, against advice of doctors, and it causes this big fight between mother and daughter.

But in the beauty salon, when Julia Roberts is scared speechless, Sally Field walks up to her, hair dripping, and says "I like it."

I'm sitting on my bed on a weeknight, bawling my eyes out. I've seen this movie a hundred times. We owned the video and it was either that or "Karate Kid Part II" (which probably made me cry too at some point, let's be honest.).

I know why that scene makes me cry. I have experienced that scene with my own mom. Maybe not about hair (although that awful haircut in 11th grade that forced me to wear a green baseball hat every day for a few months might be in there somewhere), but about other things in my life, even if we had argued just beforehand. And what makes it even more real is that my mother looks A LOT like Sally Field. At one point she did have hair that looked like a brown football helmet.

So the catalyst of this particular posting? Tonight I'm home alone, watching "Great Debate" on VH1, a stupid show with talking comedian heads debating idiot pop culture items such as Mrs. Buttersworth or Aunt Jemima on your breakfast table. They debate up was which movie was more sad: "Terms of Endearment" or "Steel Magnolias"?

Of course, my answer was clear. They are showing scenes in "Terms" where Debra Winger's children come to say goodbye to their dying mother, and the classic scene where Shirley Maclain starts screaming at the top of her lungs to the hospital nurses to "give my daughter her shot!"

Then they show about 15 seconds — remember that, 15 seconds — of the scene in "Steel Magnolias" where the whole gang are at the cemetery after the graveside service, and Sally Field is having one of here standard screamfest breakdowns (there is one in every one of her movies) about how she wants to know "WHYYYYY!!!!!!"

I'm not even watching the movie, I'm watching a clip show and a fraction of one scene, and the tears are flowing.

I called my mom, to tell her what a complete emotional basketcase she has for a daughter, and by then I'm just laughing.

Perfect.

Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.

2009-07-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

They say that kids say the darnedest things. I'll start with Caleb, just because any darned word is something for him.

Caleb: uh-oh

Me, struggling with a wiggling Caleb on my hip who is refusing to get his nose wiped: "Dude!"

Caleb: "Dude" (I swear.)

He also says: Ba-ba (bottle), daddy, ma-ma

And now Grace. I remember my mom relating a story to me once: She was in the store with me as a 3-year-old, and I was talking, talking, talking. Mom had to stop and say to me: "Mommy just needs it to be quiet for one minute."

When you're waiting for your first child to start talking, you never think you are going to feel that way. Now, Grace is just one, continuous run-on sentence. She asks questions and hardly even waits for me to answer. Most of the time I love it, but sometimes I am amazed at how tired I can get just by listening to her talk.

Heard recently:

"I need some more friends," after being told that Halle had to go home on the 4th of July.

"Is that a good idea, Mama?" asked often when she announces what she wants to do: watch her shows, eat a ganolery (granola) bar, go on a walk, roll down the hill, etc.

"This is the best tea party ever."

"You're driving me freakin' nuts," she said to a broom that was apparently not cooperating with her as she attempted to sweep the sidewalk. If you didn't already know, she got that one from me.

"Gosh freakin' dammit." Now, she gets that from both of us, but she said it in Jon's presence, so I'll give him credit. Guess we have to be a bit more careful from now on!

2009-06-16T21:14:00.001-07:00

I finally got Caleb to the doctor today. We missed his 12-month appointment — that was about when I had surgery. But he's finally caught up on vaccinations and has been given a clean bill of health for a 15-month-old. Grace kept reassuring him: "You'll get shots, Cabey, but you'll be just fine." Over and over again. He had no idea what she was talking about and was none too pleased with me after five vaccines today.

Here are his stats:
22.6 pounds — 25th percentile
31 1/2 inches long — 60th percentile
50 centimeter head circumference — 100th percentile

I figure I'll someday be the mother of the president of the United States or a genius inventor or something like that, and for now, I'll just buy shirts with buttons.

His doorknob-style belly button turns out to be herniated. But, have no fear, Caleb: Apparently it's not life-threatening and generally not even irritating. Unless, of course, it is, in which case we'll have to get it fixed.

He said bye-bye last night, and several times today when prompted. First real word. Although he will nod a very emphatic "yes" or shake his head "no" to communicate his wishes. He's getting bigger, but he thinks he's much bigger than he really is. He wants to do whatever Grace is doing: riding a bike, running, jumping on the trampoline, climbing, etc. He gets really mad when he gets left behind. But he still does it with a big, crooked grin on his face. He's always so happy, my Cabey boy.

2009-06-16T18:59:00.000-07:00

I bought a pair of pants from the Gap. The front pockets look like miniature back pockets.

Grace told me my pants were on backwards.

In the mountains

2009-06-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, we hiked up to Battle Creek Falls in Pleasant Grove. This served two purposes. 1) it was a beautiful day and a great way to enjoy the afternoon, and 2) we wanted to see how Caleb would do in the backpack and Grace on her own two feet.

Caleb did great once we got going. He's never been one to hold still.

He has more hair than you might think, it's just so white you can't really see it ... until you get out in the sun. Just the top of his head peaked out over the top of his ride and his white hair is nearly an inch long, standing up on end. It was also startling to see how huge he looked in the pack, considering how he could barely see out last summer.

Jon jogged a bit with Grace at the bottom because she had to go potty (more on that later) and he thought that was a riot -- he was bouncing and laughing hard.

Grace made it nearly the entire 1.6 miles round trip. There was only a couple of spots she needed to be carried, and that only lasted a few yards. We made it to the falls, and stayed there a while watching a group rappel off the top. Cabey could have stayed all day long, squatting in the shallow water and throwing rocks and collecting small sticks. It was surprising how focused he was on that.

Just before we went back down, I made Jon take a picture of me. Not that I'm narcissistic, I just want to prove that I was indeed there.

When we got down to the bottom, we went over to Kiwanis Park because the hiking book I had said there was a toilet there. We'll now use that term loosely.

It was a latrine in a cinderblock building. I've probably encountered hundreds of these during my life. I have to say this one up there for being one of the most disgusting. Grace stopped just short of the door.

"What's that kind of potty?" her nose crinkled and her eyes squinting.

"It's a mountain potty," I reply. "It doesn't have water in it, so you don't flush it."

"It's very really gross, Mommy," Grace said, taking one more step toward the latrine. "This potty is for bees."

She was obviously referring to the swarm of flies circling the open cavern of insect heaven. I had to stifle my laugh -- she's getting sly to when we are laughing at her or talking about her. She wants to know what's so funny.

I wasn't going to let her touch it. It was going to be one of those circus acts, where I hold her, hovering over the open hole that is not nearly big enough. I wasn't sure she would even be able to relax enough to go.

"Do you want to try and go potty here?" I asked, expecting a definitive no, crying or screaming or some other horror movie-type response.

She thought about it a minute, her bare bum poking out from under her tank top. She closed her eyes, still thinking. I asked again.

"I think no, Mommy." And that was it. She held it all the way through Pleasant Grove, Cedar Hills and Highland to a new -- and I have to say, deluxe -- gas station on Highway 92 in Lehi. I'm presuming it's Lehi because it was open on a Sunday. Everything in Highland was dark.

As we left the latrine, she said this, and this made it all worth it:

"Mommy, I love hiking."

The joke's on me

2009-05-18T11:05:00.000-07:00

Lately, Grace has been all about the Knock Knock joke. Unfortunately, she doesn't quite get it. She just repeats "Knock Knock. Who's There" over and over....and over and over.

So I was trying to teach her how a Knock Knock joke goes, and the only one I can ever remember is:

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Duane."
"Duane who?"
"Duane the bathtub, I'm dwowning."

So, I'm having her repeat after me, and she is getting it fairly well. So after a few run-throughs, we try it out.

Grace: "Knock, knock."
Me: "Who's there?"
Grace: "Duane."
Me: "Duane who?"
Grace: "Duane the bathtub, I'm soaked."

Almost.

The voice of reason

2009-04-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

We just came from the doctor's office, and Grace was hun-ga-ry. We pulled in to Burger King's parking lot, and I said to Grace:

"There is no slide in there, no playland. Do you want to eat inside or in the car?"

Grace's response:

"There's probably chairs in there, Mom."

My reply:

"You're right. There probably is."

So we ate inside.

(Incidentally, the new burger shots are awesome in the kids meals. The perfect size.)

2009-03-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

My mom mad this school bus cake -- so cute, eh?

Cake is good.

Caleb was a bit more into tearing into that paper than at Christmastime, but he still got quite a bit of help from Grace. He got some fun toys that he plays with a lot, and some cute clothes for summer.

Caleb's second party featured brownies and raspberry trifle. It was delicious!

2009-03-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

Grace's birthday party. She was very excited that everyone came over -- especially all her cousins. We had hamburgers and hot dogs, even though it was cold outside and the wind tipped over our huge grill, and somehow the little Weber charcoal grill stayed upright.

Grace opening presents. She was very gracious and thanked everyone for her presents. Her cake had princesses on it, and it was sitting on the table all afternoon, torturing her. She periodically would inform me that she was going to go look at her cake. And she was very careful not to touch it. We were all shocked.

It's been a while ...

2009-03-25T09:07:00.001-07:00

I have a lot of catching up to do.

The past month has been insane! First, the happy things:

1. Caleb turned 1 - we had two great parties for him.
2. Grace turned 3 - we had a great time with everyone at her party, and Grace especially had fun, and she loved all her presents. She's still talking about them.
3. Both of those kids make me laugh every day.
4. I'm not working right now (more on that later)
5. My house has never been cleaner, thanks to, initially Joe and Emilee, and subsequently my mom and dad and Jon.
6. I have great friends.
7. I had peace and quiet to do the taxes -- can't wait for that return check to deposit!
8. I am relatively pain free.
9. The TV in my bedroom now has a remote control.

But insanity implies that not everything was awesome:

1. My grandpa had a stroke, and my grandma's health is not good.
2. Grace and Caleb both got their first ear infections ever at the same time.
3. I had surgery on my back.
4. The laptop I got from work barely limps along -- I can't do anything beyond checking email and reading text files. Ridiculous.
5. Caleb is angry with me for not being able to pick him up -- He often gives me the cold shoulder.
6. I missed the trip to Las Vegas.
6. It's snowing.

But despite everything, we're making it through. I have lots of people around me who care and help me out tremendously. I couldn't have done this alone. And while I still have a few weeks to go, I feel like I can come out on the other side of this a better person, a better wife, mother, friend, employee, and member of the church.

I look forward to being whole again, and able to live a full life -- being there for my kids, my family and friends.

Observation

2009-02-26T20:56:00.001-08:00

We bought a portable DVD player, and Grace thinks that it's her TV. Sometimes she prefers to watch a movie on a 7-inch screen instead of the big TV downstairs.

As she was watching "101 Dalmations" she glanced over at the bookcase, and saw the cordless phone. She looked perplexed, then awe-struck:

"The phone is standing, Mama."

I had to try hard not to laugh too hard.

Grace takes care

2009-02-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

I had a bit of a breakdown today. Grace got in trouble for squirting a big pool of Purel on my bookcase, which is a perfectly fine thing for which to go to "time out", right? My fuse is shorter than usual lately though [gotta get this back fixed ASAP] and Grace started crying for her baby-sitter McCall. That was a first.

It just made me sad that I got her in trouble, when I shouldn't have left the Purel out in the first place. So I got her a yogurt and was feeding Caleb some oatmeal, and I just started crying. That made Grace start crying. And that made Caleb start crying. So we all sat in the kitchen crying and eating weird lunch food. I collected myself and before long it was quiet. Then Grace patted me on the back...

"You OK, Mommie?" she said like a chain-smoking Minnie Mouse, due to a cold. "You not crying anymore?"

"No, I'm OK."

"OK. I'll get you some toilet paper. You can wipe your eyes."

And off she went to get some toilet paper. She soon returned with a scrap of toilet paper about 1 inch square. Somehow, it was plenty.

Thanks, Goose.

Visualization

2009-02-05T16:10:00.000-08:00

Grace is often found trying to get Caleb to walk to her. He gets way too excited though and usually falls down. That doesn't stop Grace from cheering and clapping though!

OK, so photos didn't get posted as soon as I wanted, but here they are anyway. He still isn't doing many steps in a row, although he stands more than anyone I've ever seen. He'd almost rather be standing than sitting these days.

And we're walking, and we're walking

2009-01-20T20:49:00.001-08:00

Cabey started walking this week, and while I am a very hip, tech-savvy mom, I haven't had a chance to get his first few steps on video. Tomorrow, I promise. What's even more exciting about him walking, though, is how excited he is to do it. I think if he would calm down a bit, he'd go a lot farther. He'll start madly flapping his arms and squealing. I'm sure it's because Grace starts cheering and clapping if she thinks he is even thinking about taking a step. They're such good buddies.

Speaking of that, they have already started to wrestle each other. Grace will start hugging him, but inevitably, they end up rolling around on the floor over the top of each other. It really gets interesting when a blanket is involved. That usually ends with the corner of the blanket twisted around Caleb's head, a muffled scream coming from inside. Mom comes to the rescue, then it all starts over again.

I can has cheezburger?

2008-12-19T10:51:00.000-08:00

There is a great Web site, icanhascheezburger.com, where captions are put on photos of animals. We spent many nights the Herald, laughing at the weird things animals do. In the same great style, my good friend Chris Daines has applied it to humans. The Web site is worth a gander as well.

2008-12-17T12:46:00.000-08:00

The neighbor kids came over for about an hour the other day, and they love the rocking horse. Naturally, Grace, full of grace, does an especially smooth mount behind her BFF, Ella. But to her credit, she always bounces back quickly. Always looking out for the girls, you can hear Jaggyr in the background warning them to not go too fast. Thanks Jag!

Baby Jesus

2008-12-11T16:09:00.000-08:00

Grace is obsessed with "baby Jesus." She loves Nativity scenes, but couldn't care less about the other figures, only the baby.

She has already lost the baby Jesus from one Nativity scene, so today I was trying to convince her to leave the other set alone. So we opted for printing off online coloring pictures of baby Jesus. Of the several manger scenes I found and printed, plus one of Santa Clause for good measure, she wasn't really that interested anymore. Except to carry around the Santa picture. She was very excited to show McCall her picture of Santa.

When my sister was probably 2 or 3, one of those plush dolls with the plastic faces became baby Jesus. We used it while re-creating the Nativity one Christmas and that is what it was called for year and years and years. I'm sure it's long gone to the D.I. by now, but it would be funny to tell Grace that it was baby Jesus.

Grace in action

2008-12-08T13:24:00.000-08:00

The kids went to their new babysitter today. We met her last week, and Grace has been talking about going to Bonnie's for nearly a week now — she has "lots of toys downstairs and lots and lots of movies."

She's talking like crazy now — and saying a lot of things that are demonstrating independent thought. She's connecting things now. The other day, Jon was mad and yelling about something, and after he went upstairs, she turned to me and said, "Daddy's being naughty."

She also is starting to get the whole Santa Claus game. She says that Santa will be bringing her a baby doll, and claims that she will sit on Santa's lap and tell him that is what she wants. We'll see if she actually does it.

Cheese!

2008-11-17T21:13:00.001-08:00

Grace absolutely loves these fake teeth. How we came to have fake teeth in the first place? They were hidden between large plastic storage bins I bought. I didn't discover them till long after I bought the tubs. So they ended up staying.

Grace has always made it very clear that she has a cavernous mouth -- her binkie has fit entirely in there at a very early age -- and she is constantly putting weird things in there [none of which are food, but that's another story].

The other day she ran up to me and smiled big and wide, and there were those HUGE yellow teeth. I thought I was going to fall off the couch I was laughing so hard. I corralled the kids in Cabey's crib and grabbed the video camera. This is the result. It still makes me laugh.

Binkie blues

2008-11-12T15:03:00.000-08:00

We are officially one week binkie-free. It has mostly been great. When she's upset, she'll only cry for a couple of minutes and then she's over it. It hasn't been a big deal. What has been a bigger deal is in the afternoon when she is too tired. Like after church (at 4 p.m.) she asleep practically before we leave the parking lot. But last Sunday, the first experience sans binkie, it took nearly 15 minutes before she was not screaming and asleep. That's a fair amount of time if you're trapped in the car.

And today, she fell asleep on our way to lunch with Mammy. So because she woke up at 6 this morning, and it was nearly 2 p.m., I opted to just take her home. But she woke up, and only just collapsed on the couch about 20 minutes ago, after a scream fest.

So it's a work in progress. I has to get better. I just keep telling myself that it's better than constantly looking for it. Most anything is better than that.

Happy Halloween

2008-11-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

Caleb is trying to get the camera. His costume is in the background.

Halloween hoopla

2008-11-04T09:14:00.001-08:00

This was the first Halloween that we all spent at home. All the grandparents came to us this year. Jon bought an absurdly large pizza from The Pie, and we all reeked of garlic for two days.

Grace was a ballerina, and while visiting Jon and my offices to show of costumes and collect candy, Grace wouldn't say "trick-or-treat." She'd duck her head, and then eek out a "please" and always said "thank you." Such a polite trick-0r-treater.

Cabey was a vampire, but his hood kept slipping off so he didn't wear it very long. But long enough for the Velcro to rub a big red square on his neck that was there until the next morning. Although his two front teeth have come in, he was still a cute little Dracula.

Stu brought Malachi over in his cheetah costume to go trick-or-treating on our street. And Pierce, a train conductor, shouted "trick-or-treat" at our house, and from then on, Grace had no problem saying "trick-or-treat." She and Malachi would get a piece of candy, and then start running, shouting "Next house, next house," until they reached the next doorstep. They were both pretty good at knocking, too.

She got way too much candy, and I'm contemplating just dumping it in the garbage. Her favorites are "Sneakers" and "Orange ones" (Reese's peanut butter cups). Although Tootsie Rolls are up there.

The first words out of her mouth in the morning are whisper, "I want my candy."

2008-10-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Hopefully one of these days I'll be able to get a good photo of Cabey's teeth. For the longest time he only had fangs. So long that my mom made him this silk and lamee Dracula cape and hood. It's super cute.

But of course, soon thereafter his two front teeth started poking through. I never got a good picture of his vampire teeth. It's a bit depressing. I have a thousand and one photos of Grace at every stage of life, and he's only 12 hours old in his only framed photo in the house.

One of these days, hopefully before he starts shaving, I'll get it together and have the camera ready.

Hamburger to the rescue

2008-10-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to kill two birds with one stone, I decided to try potty training while collecting stool samples.

I spread out a big blanket in the basement -- I figured I could easily wash any accidents out better than in the carpet -- brought out the Winnie the Pooh potty chair and turned on "Yo Gabba Gabba," and let her run around with only a shirt on.

It was actually very successful in the potty training. Grace peed in the potty chair four or five times on Monday. I never did get to collect poop, because she didn't go until the next morning. Go figure.

But it was stressful and frustrating. What I really wanted was pee-free poop, and all I was getting was pee. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out the previous post.

I ended up bursting into tears, much to the surprise of Grace. She came running over from across the room and gave me a big hug and a kiss and said, "Mommy, don't cry, don't cry." That she pulled away, but looked me right in the eyes, even as she was still holding onto my shoulder, and asked "Are you hungry? Do you want a hamburger?"

Ironically, we did end up eating a hamburger that night, thanks to the generosity of my dad. It's always awesome to bite into a Wendy's hamburger at 9 p.m. when you spent the majority of the day transferring the contents of a potty chair into the toilet and washing hands.

So next time you burst into tears, just get a hamburger. Apparently Grace believes it cures everything.

Poop-tastic!

2008-10-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

I know it's a bad picture because of the glare off all the plastic bags, but if you look closely, you'll see five containers. Early next week, all those containers will be filled with Grace's poop in an attempt to figure out why Montezuma has set up a permanent camp in her colon. And those five containers don't include the slide that needs to be smeared with it.

What's extra special about all this collecting, is that it has to be pure — that is not mixed with urine. So this should be an interesting version of treasure hunting. I just hope that there is some sort of diagnosis at the end of Hershey Squirt Highway.

And I'll spare everyone from a view of the full containers.

Clumsy daredevil and the realist

2008-10-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about writing a post about how Grace is a distracted daredevil and Caleb is daring, but a realist. The premise came from Grace's habit of running fast without looking, resulting in numerous collisions with walls, countertops, furniture or simply tripping over her own two feet.

She's really fearless, jumping off stairs, beds, ottomans, etc.

Caleb, on the other hand, likes to move, but he's a realist. A couple of weeks ago he started attempting to pull himself up on things. Mostly low-to-the-ground things like his bouncy seat, which is only a few inches off the ground, or my hip when I'm lying on the floor — although that is decidedly taller than a few inches. It appeared that he would only attempt to climb things that he new he could conquer.

That attitude didn't last very long.

He is now pulling himself up on anything he comes across: the couch, the rungs on the bar stools, Grace's push toys. It doesn't really matter to him.

The funny part now is that he isn't quite sure what he is supposed to do once he's standing up. He'll get up, and sometimes swing out so he's only holding on with one hand. This really freaks him out, and I'll often find him white-knuckling whatever he happens to be holding onto, quietly but steadily crying for help.

I'm also convinced that he's going to be a climber. He made it to the stairs a while back. I can't figure out how to attach a gate because the wall and the banister don't line up, so I knew this was an inevitable event.

When I heard him go down the stairs, I ran over fully expecting to find him in a heap at the bottom. Once they start falling, there's no one fast enough to catch them before they hit the last stair.

But to my surprise, he was still on the fourth stair, one hand gripping that one, the other gripping the third stair. There was terror in his eyes, but, man, it was like he was made of Velcro or something. I can't believe he caught himself from falling down the stairs at 7 months old.

Once I realized he was OK, and picked him up, I had to laugh and wished I could have seen it happen.

2008-10-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Shel's Scraps for the background. Visit the site at www.shelsscraps.blogspot.com for lots of backgrounds.

Hula hilarity

2008-10-02T20:02:00.000-07:00

Today the kids and I went for a walk, and we ended up stopping to talk to the neighbors, Bryan and Lisa, and their kids. All the neighbor kids were huddled around a maimed pigeon that had flown into the window twice and broke its wings. A couple of the boys were throwing twigs and grass at it for some reason. The adults were debating on whether to put it out of its misery or not. In the end, the owner of the house simply ordered all the kids to leave the bird alone, "and I'm not going to tell you again."

That led to a long conversation about the economy, small-town charm and the embarrassment of Sarah Palin. But the reason for this post is near the end of our chat, their daughter, Amberly, brought out a hula hoop and was showing of her skills ... and that was the funniest Caleb had ever seen. He was laughing so hard I could hardly keep a hold of him. I'll have to test it out to see if he does it again.

2008-09-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

Most babies are hard to catch in a smile, but this one seems to know exactly when to show his two pearly whites, and he does it often. He's so fun to play with because he's super ticklish, he giggles, and, I swear, already hugs tight around your neck.

He also thinks Grace is hilarious. If she starts laughing, or making weird faces (right in his face, I might add) he will start laughing really hard. It's quite a spectacle. Apparently we aren't the only ones who think Grace is completely goofy.

Where was my camera?

2008-09-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

Grace has a cold, and that has led to a sore nose. I had to go down to the Herald today and brought the kids with me. As we were walking in, I asked for a kiss, and she obliged, but the grabbed her nose: "My nose hurt, Mommy." That was the end of kisses. And the hurt nose only got worse. Once in the office, she insisted she needs a Band-Aid.

Now, Grace is in that stage where she always wants a "Bandy." Occasionally I give her one, which she sticks on and immediately takes off. This goes on and on until the Bandy no longer sticks.

I gave her a Band-Aid from the office first-aid kit on the wall [hey, some people use it as their personal medicine cabinet. If you need ibuprofin every day, perhaps you should spring for a bottle to put in your desk] and figured she'd just hold it, or stick it on and find that a Band-Aid on her nose would not do much to help it stop hurting.

I was wrong.

She stuck one tab to her cheek, pulled it across her nose, and stuck the other tab to her upper lip. And she paraded around the office like that: playing at Karen's desk [she loves Karen, the office manager, who has lots of fun things in her desk, like magnets and crackers] sitting in all the empty chairs, playing with her dolls. I've never seen anything like it. Band-Aids are usually off in seconds, literally. This was a good 10 minutes.

And the only reason she did take it off was because Karen offered her an ice cream bar. And she was mad when it wouldn't go back on just the way she had it before. Apparently Band-Aids really can heal all wounds. I'm only sad I didn't have my camera with me. And because the camera phone on my refurbished phone is so foggy, it isn't worth using and then lamenting that even the subject of the photo is unclear.

So no photo with this post — even though it would clearly benefit from it. Note to self: If you carry such a large bag [it's the 10-gallon hat of bags] why don't you put something useful in it?

Grace jumps the shark, er, I mean, couch

2008-08-28T15:59:00.000-07:00

What I was trying to capture in this video was her face as she came flying at me from the chair. Her mouth was wide open, but her eyes were half shut, bracing for the fall. But she's fearless, flying full tilt from the chair to the couch -- head first. I know I shouldn't let her jump on the furniture -- by principle only -- but it's just so dang funny, her skinny legs and wild hair just make me laugh.

Video proved difficult, however, because I was pretty close to her, and Caleb was on my lap, pawing at the camera.

Grace is not so much full of grace

2008-08-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

There is an episode of "Seinfeld" where Elaine is told she has no grace. But a carefully placed scarf and a pair of big sunglasses lands her a job as Mr. Pitt's assistant. The Jackie O-esque grace that Elaine carried only went as far as accessories. And my daughter is graceful in name only.

Most 2-year-olds are spazey, but today was particularly amusing. We are at my mom's house, and I was sitting on the couch holding Cabey, who had just fallen asleep sans binkie (thanks to a wild and crazy sister this morning), and Grace was standing next to me on the floor. In her defense, mom's couch is quite plush, so for a human her size, she can sink quite a ways into the cushion. But we are sitting there talking, and Grace leans into the couch, and -- I can still see it replaying in my head -- she suddenly is gone. It's like in a movie where someone is walking on screen and trips and falls and disappears out of the frame.

She had just randomly pirouetted out of the movie frame, down the couch, arms flailing until she lands in a heap on the floor. I, of course, have to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing while she picks herself up and finds comfort on Mammie's lap.

It's times like these that I just love. And I'll revisit that collapse as I try and go to sleep tonight.

Riding the log flume

2008-08-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

Grace liked the log flume: She has a whole story about it. The boat went up, up, up and then it went down down down, and the water splash my hair. Only she says it like that scene in "Stayin' Alive" where John Travolta is mad that his dad "hits my hair."

A bit about Caleb

2008-08-22T14:03:00.000-07:00

While Grace can be all-consuming, Caleb does deserve a mention or two. His first tooth cracked the surface last weekend, and yesterday, he got his first jar of baby food (carrots). He liked it alright, and from what I can remember, he took to it better than Grace did. Hopefully that is a sign of good things to come.

He is so happy all the time, and smiles at everyone. And that dimple doesn't hurt anything either. He's a little guy — at his last appointment a month ago, he was 13 lbs. 13 oz., which is 7th and 25th percentile, respectively — but to me he looks and feels like he's getting bigger. He's going to be tough if he wants to survive, however, because Grace already gives him big bear hugs and he usually has some sort of sticky kiss somewhere on his head. But he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he finds Grace so hysterically funny, he usually just starts laughing for no apparent reason. But if you follow his gaze, it is usually fixed on that weird blond girl running around making faces at him.

Lagoon - It's where fun is

2008-08-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

Grace is quite enthralled with heights — but water? Forget about it. On a recent trip to Lagoon, she requested the ferris wheel and loved gazing out over the grounds, even spotting some cattle grazing among some graveyard cars left to rot in a field. But just the idea of getting in the boat kiddie ride in Mother Goose Land was too traumatic. It's weird because last year she went on all the rides, in fact we couldn't get to the next one fast enough for her. I guess this year she was old enough to think they might be scary.

Her favorite ride by far was the Carousel, and after a ride on a horse and a frog, we finally found the "ducky" she was requesting: a stork that didn't go up and down. She probably rode that duck four or five times. Each time the ride was over she would grip the end of its bill an tell it "bye."

We've driven past Lagoon a couple of times since then, and she somehow spots in from the freeway and wants to go on the rides.

2008-08-13T17:05:00.000-07:00

It is a bit disturbing, but Grace's new love is "Little Einsteins," a Disney Channel show with four kids and a rocket that takes famous classical music and artwork and incorporates it into a ridiculous story teaching about musical concepts. They all speak painfully slow and make up words to the music like "Come ride the ice cream train, and chug chug chug with Mr. Penguin" or stories like Rocket needing to take his sick grandmother rocket some soup. Whoa. It's a bit painful, and we hope to be avoiding this one soon. But she does do all the hand motions and talks back to the screen, which is pretty funny.

Also, today we put on some new shoes that we bought for her a few months ago, but they were too big. So today, we tried them on, and Jon told her they fit. She came running outside to tell me that her shoes fit: "My shoes fit!" If there's one thing she loves, it's shoes. That's my girl!

Grace is growing up

2008-08-05T13:40:00.000-07:00

Grace is obsessed with fruit snacks (gummies) and this morning when she discovered there were no more gummies, she informed Jon that he must go get some more: "Daddy car, go, my gummies, bye-bye"

And this afternoon, she was excited to tell me all about it: "Daddy car, buy my gummies."

She fell asleep watching "Monsters, Inc." for me a much-welcomed change from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She has moved on from "My Friends Tigger and Pooh" to "Happy Feet" where she really only likes about 10 minutes of the movie when the baby penguins hatch until they are no longer babies.

Grace also loves to entertain Cabey, and he certainly finds her entertaining. Her latest act involves running around him when he's in the middle of the living room floor. Last night she was dragging Jon's office ID badge behind her, Caleb squealing and giggling, Grace laughing hard enough I thought she might fall down. It's a new experience for me: a baby laughing, because Grace never did it.

In the beginning

2008-08-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

I'm trying my hand at blogging...

We'll see if I can keep up on it.